Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
