I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
