Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
