I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
