Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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