oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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