so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
