It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
