wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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