there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
