I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
