Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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