Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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