okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just googled if crying burns calories
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
