I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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