he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
