i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize