you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
