just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
