TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
whose parrot is this?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
