I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
