Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
