ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize