He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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