we're blogging at a bar
In the future we'll all be gay
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
