Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
