At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
