She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
