dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
