I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
That's how pantless uber rides happen
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
