They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
