Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
