Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
These tits shall not be calmed
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
