What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
