Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize