Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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