Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize