Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
