I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
