This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize