Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
