Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
