Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
