Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
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may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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