the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Mom said you looked used
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
