somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
