so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Text me some of your sweat
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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