I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
