so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i will never coherently bang her
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
