alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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