she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize