did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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