What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If I die, sorry about rent.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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