It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
