Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
