4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
