is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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