Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize