No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
