how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
