Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
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