I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
