First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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