If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
zippers are such a cool invention
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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