careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
