Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
