"it" just moved
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
