OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
