Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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